1. Attention to what makes us fall in love.

We have all loved it. We meet someone, and we have a sensation in the stomach as if we had butterflies, and we say to the friend or friend I just fell in love. The mind needs to label the physical sensation. That which makes us fall in love and which has no explanation? It is in direct relation with our unconscious programs . We say that we fall in love when we deeply resonate with another person’s information.

We “get together” with that person to develop that aspect we need. However, precisely those aspects that initially make us fall in love may be those that later on we do not support and bother us. The loquacity ends up being judged as verbiage, the firmness as coldness, the intellectual ends up being a “know-it-all” ?? and the one from whom we were attracted by his tenderness we ended up seeing him as weak … this occurs well because we have not integrated that facet in us and we judge it, or because we have already integrated it and we consider that we do not need that person to continue our way. Being aware of this does not mean having to leave the couple; on the contrary, we can choose to evolve with it.

2. Be consistent.

Live to pay attention to what we think, what we feel and what we do is going in the same direction. The Bioneuroemoción proposes us to avoid doing things that we do not like for wanting to please the other or, what is the same, avoid starting to do things that we do not like just because we believe that the other will want to be with us. It is essential to maintain individuation, to permit ourselves to continue being ourselves sharing life with someone who, in turn, allows himself to remain himself or herself.

If at some point we detect that this is not the case, we can ask ourselves: What is a couple for me? What do we want a couple for? To not be alone? So we do not get bored? To have someone to take care of us? Etc. It is fundamental to question ourselves to detect our inconsistencies continually, so we will stop wanting to change the other to focus on our evolution.

3. Live in unity consciousness.

If we think that the other person comes to fill our deficiencies, we will continue with them, and when we do not have the other, we will suffer. On the other hand, if the person next to us complements us, that benefits us because it teaches us something that we have to learn and integrate. Then, the other person is our blessing and not our misfortune.

When we live from the consciousness of unity, we stop living in the projection to start living in extension. That is, we understand that there are not two, but a unit that complements itself. We are always facing ourselves. In this way, we can stop being what we think we are to give us the opportunity to be what we are.

When we fall in love the first thing we usually want is to possess the other and, when we believe that we have it, we begin to be afraid of losing it or losing it, then we discover ourselves as possessive. That is the first sign of the lack of love towards oneself. True love does not bind anyone, does not want to possess. The freest love is to live with someone the present moment, without grudges for the past, or fears for the future; but with gratitude towards the other person, for sharing life and helping us to know ourselves better.

People who enjoy satisfying and stable relationships are balanced beings. They are not looking for someone to “fill a gap”. Do they recognise their worth?