A long-lasting relationship can retain much of the charm of early times, to achieve it you need creativity, overcome laziness and comfortable routines. Ten recommendations to keep the excitement and the illusion alive.
1. Every day in the plan of conquest
To assume that the game has already been won and that nothing more has to be done to conquer the other is the first step to the deterioration of the relationship. Remembering the most useful strategies at the beginning of the relationship and applying them, as well as new actions based on the knowledge you have of the couple, will keep the spark and emotion and prevent the other or yourself from becoming something as obvious as the sofa in the living room.
2. Have a life of their own
When all the experiences you have been lived as a couple, there comes the point where there is nothing new to talk about. Having friends of their own, individual interests, independent activities of the couple is convenient both for the person and for the relationship: oxygenates, gives topics of conversation, promotes new activities, new friends, in short, they enrich the daily life.
3. Modify routines
Routines prevail because they are comfortable, but they can become automatic and therefore lose emotion. Breaking them is easier than you think. It is giving space to spontaneity, daring to make proposals out of the ordinary and change the comfort for the action. For example, take advantage of a sunny day in the week and find yourself somewhere in the city after work to chat as night falls.
4. Be interested in what the other does
The hobbies, tastes, interests, and knowledge of the other, can contribute much to the universe itself. There will always be an angle of what the other does, which can generate curiosity in the couple. It is not simply saying “I do not like football” but trying to understand why he likes the other. With this attitude, prejudices are overcome and horizons are broadened. In addition, spaces are created to share.
5. Have exclusive moments to share between two
When there are children involved, there is little space to share as a couple. The grandparents, the uncles, the family in general, can be of great help to have some moments alone. Also in everyday life, you can reserve some spaces to live as a couple: when the children have already gone to bed or early before they get up. The fact is to never forget that the other, apart from being “the father or the mother of my children, is my partner”.
6. A good sexual relationship
Biology influences sexuality, but also the psychology of both. Stress and daily fatigue are not the best companions for a relationship. Laughter, on the other hand, relaxes and allows for a more relaxed approach. Finding or creating appropriate environments (also emotional) and avoiding “automatic” encounters are good ways to maintain a dynamic and exciting relationship. Preparing food together, without haste and announcing it in advance so that both are in the same tonic, is a good way to prepare for sex.
7. Always be a challenge
Says Eduardo Punset, a Spanish scientist, that one of the fundamental factors of Homo sapiens to be happy is to have a challenge, something that has to be achieved. That which is believed already achieved loses interest. The concept of unconditionality in the couple is dangerous and promotes irresponsible attitudes and actions: “You will be there, whatever you do.” When both people are clear that they have to “earn” each other day by day, they contribute the best of themselves and do their best to continue the relationship.
8. Make caresses a novelty
In the caresses the instinctive and the rational coexist. Tenderness, solidarity, support, are feelings that are expressed many times with greater clarity and forcefulness with a hug or a squeeze, than with words. Caresses have a therapeutic effect, reduce stress, relax and create an irreplaceable link. Its positive effect is as much for who gives them as for who receives them. It can be stroked with the tips of the fingers or with the whole hand, with the back or with a simple set of fingers. There are hundreds of ways to explore and express feelings to the other.
9. Be buddies
Before being a couple, it is important that both be friends. Life can not become just obligations and responsibilities. A life and a future in common are being built, but spaces of relaxation, leisure, fun, and mischief are also needed. Being cronies of small follies creates a strong and rewarding bond.
10. Avoid being “typical” in anything
Freeing yourself from stereotypes or avoiding falling into them is a way of maintaining “identity.” Everyone builds their day and their life in their own way. It is easy to do according to the pre-made recipes of the society (the lady cantaletosa, the gentleman indifferent and against the domestic …), but it is more enriching and rewarding to do it according to the formula itself.
A relationship is like a plant that must be grown every day. The details and patience with the other are the basis for a loving relationship to work and endure over time. Following the above advice you can improve your relationship so that harmony and happiness visit your heart again. Learn them and practice them.