Friends are an essential part of our lives. They are the family that we choose to have and that we feel emotionally and cognitively connected through strong bonds of friendship and, often, imperishable if we know how to cultivate correctly.
However, choosing a good friend is not always a simple task and many times we can choose the wrong friends. This type of relationship is known as a “toxic friendship relationship” and has affected many people in a very negative way throughout the world. That is why, in this article, we will present some tips so you can identify a relationship of toxic friendship efficiently and effectively.
Tip 1: disguised discrimination
In the relationships of healthy and healthy friendships, there is a certain type of humor that is acceptable between each friendship relationship. However, there is a fine line between games and the bearable humor of covert discrimination and insulting and degrading humor.
a communication in which there is an ambivalence: one is friend and enemy at the same time. There is closeness and distance at the same time. “In simpler words, in the relations of toxic friendship, there is the duality of wanting to be friend and enemy at the same time, demonstrating discriminatory and covert communicative qualities.
Tip 2: Reliability does not exist
One of the best things about having a healthy and healthy friendship relationship is that you can trust each other’s secrets without spreading the word to other people. Reliability is essential when choosing a good friend, because if there is no trust, why does friendship exist? However, many people confide their secrets to people who present themselves as the “good friend” when in reality they have all the characteristics of being a very bad friend.
Good friends trust each other and do not doubt each other’s words when it comes to secret or urgent things. A bad friend instead is always waiting to learn more secrets of the person, in order to cause emotional damage ranging from the most insignificant to much more serious.
It is normal that friends can be neglected at any given time about intimacies, but if this reaction is repeated every time you confide an intimacy of yours to the person, then it is a bad sign. Quoting Dr. Xavier Molina for psicologiaymente.com : “Taking into account that human beings are imperfect and we can make mistakes, we should start to distrust when a friend is not careful more than once.”
In simpler words, take good care of who is said to be your friend and have suspicious or undue attitudes in a friendship. True friendships keep the secret of friends as if they were a treasure and never harm one another with intentions to make life more difficult.
Tip 3: perpetual prominence
In a true friendship, it is natural that there is some kind of competition among friends. From things as simple as in sports to issues as complex as love, all competition is good between friends as long as it is healthy and without intentions to hurt the other.
You can identify a toxic friendship relationship when the person posing as a “friend” wants to be the protagonist all the time, demanding and demanding attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. True friends take turns being protagonists and there is healthy competition for them, while in a toxic friendship this becomes more a battlefield.
In Sean Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” book, he demonstrates that this kind of toxic friendship relationships as a way to lose-win relationship. The author says that “in a lose-win relationship, the protagonism of bad friends becomes a battlefield where the loser is probably you.”
In other words, bad friends are discovered when they want to steal the limelight all the time and at all hours. It does not matter if it means crushing you to get what he or she wants, while good friends have a healthy competition in terms of prominence and attention.
The key to a good friendship are the moments of joy in which one lives between two or more friends. The good friends are so that there is more color in our lives and a healthy and healthy distraction without harming the members of the group of friends at any time.
That is why a relationship of toxic friendship is characterized by having more moments of sadness, discomfort and anger than joy and rejoicing. Bad friends act like antagonists and villains in the history of friendship and transform, in a very bad way, the concept of a healthy and happy friendship.
It is not easy to choose a good band of friends, it is a process that takes time and dedication, just like in any human relationship. However, once you identify the good friends of bad friends, then you can enjoy the enormous emotional and psychological advantages of a healthy and happy friendship.