You can not take it anymore, you do not see an exit and you want to ask for a divorce . Everything is wrong in your marriage, there is no passion or affection, not even dialogue, but there are daily discussions that make everyone’s life a hell.IT’S OVER! I WANT THE DIVORCE!However, this decision has serious negative consequences for you, your partner and their children, if there are any. So … review these five questions BEFORE moving on.
1.What is the straw that spilled the glass and decided you for the divorce?
What was it? Did you feel that there was an increasing distance between you and your partner? Did their habits become hobbies and what was charming became unbearable? Have they mishandled their conflicts and can not go back because of pride? Or, perhaps, and it is very common, you have a new affair and your feelings towards your partner are not clear. Is that you can not compare what you feel for the new person with what you feel for the person who accompanies you and lives with you so long ago. The routine dulls the brightness, but sometimes you had the same feelings for your spouse that you have for your lover.
Search inside, remember, revive and see if it is worth destroying everything you achieved with your partner. Is there really nothing that makes it worth a new attempt? The problems that are leading to your divorce may not be resolved by ending the relationship and dragging you into new relationships in the future … so … why not try to solve them with this couple?
2.Have you done EVERYTHING possible to save your relationship?
Now, you are convinced that you did EVERYTHING … but, have you tried to go to a couples therapist ? Maybe you can try before making the final decision. What do you lose? If it really does not help you to continue with your relationship, you can clarify many things about what went wrong and why and you can take advantage of the advice later in another relationship. Maybe you went but your therapist was not the right one. Maybe they were but they were NOT honest with what they said in the sessions. There is always an advantage in a new opportunity. Think about it!
3. What will be the impact on your children?
If you have children, the impact of a divorce on them will be inevitable. I do not tell you, I do not even suggest, that you stay in a relationship just for them … that would lead to unhappiness guaranteed for you, your spouse and themselves. But you do have to meditate on whether your decision is final and irrevocable. Children will suffer, that’s the way it always is.
4.What were the best times in your relationship?
Maybe if you manage to go back to those times, understand what went wrong and what is worth saving. When did you feel the most connection with your partner? Emotionally returns to that past where both were happy and loved each other so much. Something had to have for you to choose your partner and choose you too. At some point they dreamed together a possible future and put all the desire and all the faith.
Can you imagine going back to that place? If you can imagine it, the most likely thing is that you can get there with the proper process.
5. Can you imagine your life without the other … or are you just angry?
Do you really want to live your life without your partner or are you angry, upset, outraged, frustrated, bored or dazzled by another person? Think and consider carefully if that is what you want. After all, divorce means the end of life as you know it, with all the benefits and harms that implies. It is a BIG CHANGE.
Do not let it be
However, never stay in the bubble of indecision for long because you will damage yourself and everyone around you. The lack of love at home, living apart under the same roof is like a disease that will eat away at you. Either you put a point or end or you decide on the point and followed, but the ellipsis, in the marriage … never work.