Oral sex can be one of the expressions of intimacy, love and desire most valued by a couple, according to the sexologist and relationship expert, Gia Ravazzotti.
“Let’s face it: it’s incredibly sensual to watch another person experience sexual pleasure. But to obtain the greatest enjoyment of performing oral sex on another person, it is essential to be aware and attentive during the act, ” says the specialist in an article published by Mind Body Green magazine.
1. Ask for permission
Before starting, ask your partner if he is in the “mood” of receiving and giving pleasure. If he says no, that’s fine. Let it roll. Ravazzotti explains that in a relationship there must be “space to say no without consequences”, which will generate an atmosphere of trust and intimacy.
2. Use your eyes
Take the time to explore your partner’s genitals. “I love it when my clients tell me that their partner’s genitals are beautiful,” the counselor shares. Look at the shape, texture, color, firmness or softness and discover what and how it excites you. Then, it just flows.
3. Use your hands
As you go, observe everything, says Ravazzotti. Look at everything, every movement, every breath. Does your partner already show signs of pleasure through breathing and movement? And very important, how do you feel when you notice these things? Does it excite you?
4. Use your breathing
“Changing our breathing alters the way we experience things, in all aspects of life, even when it comes to sex,” says the sexologist. Ravazzotti recommends that, before going down to the genital area, gently touch the areas of the body that surround it and approach little by little. Observe what happens and enjoy.
5. Use your mouth
“Remember that oral sex is all about how you use your tongue and lips,” says Ravazzotti. The counselor warns that it should start gently, just a touch, and gradually increase the intensity. Remember to be attentive and aware of the flavors, textures, smells and sensations. “Once your mouth is in the genitals, explore” , recommends Ravazzotti while reiterating the value of observing the reactions to maintain the flow of the “conversation”.
6. Use your words
Dare to ask your partner how he feels, if he is enjoying it, or if he prefers you to do something else. Do not be afraid to ask.
7. Use your brain
Oral sex can end in many ways, says Ravazzotti. They could switch to coitus, to manual stimulation, or you could stop before the climax arrives to change shifts. “They could even turn it into a game to see how many turns they can take before they ‘explode’,” says the sexologist. Similarly, they could simply relax and snuggle. “The important thing is to have an open mind and remember that sex will always be different.”
8. Be respectful
For example, if your partner is male, make sure both are clear about ejaculation before starting. If you need to let you know when you are about to finish to change your technique, say so. If you do not have problems with improvisation, say so too.
9. Leave expectations aside
Sex will not always end in orgasm. When you have expectations and are not met, in general, disappointment takes over. If you remove all the emphasis of orgasm, you will create an atmosphere of relaxation and enjoyment, says Ravazzotti. “Sometimes, it’s enough to enjoy the sensations without focusing on the goal.”
10. Have fun
Be creative, relax and do what works to enjoy the moment. In sex there are no right or wrong answers. Do what you both enjoy. “The key is to stay present and aware of the moment.”