Moving with someone is a decision that must be made very carefully, with a lot of conversation and commitment. So, no matter how many butterflies you are feeling in your stomach for their love, experts recommend keeping this in mind.
The first hand-held, the first kiss, the first “I love you” and even meet the parents are great milestones of a loving relationship. However, none as important and as many changes as saying, “let’s go live together”.
Both their personal and financial lives will change once they begin to share the same address, so he or she will spend almost all the time in their home. Therefore, before you even consider taking copies of the keys, or calling that real estate agent, the experts advise taking the time to think.
“The most important thing is that the couple is aware before moving out of why they are doing it,” says psychologist and relationship consultant Ana María Ossa. “If it’s because they’re consciously choosing to take the relationship to the next level, fine, but it’s because they spend almost every night together, or a person’s lease is over, or it’s closer to someone’s job, or he does not like his current lifestyle: slow down … Maintaining a functional relationship requires acting with intention, not only because it is easier or more comfortable, “he says.
But if you and your partner are on the same page and feel really ready to intertwine their lives and share a house, here are eight things you should keep in mind before the big step.
1. You will have to talk about the money
One of the most important but difficult conversations that all long-term couples should have is this, and it is especially important to discuss finances with your partner before deciding to move together.
You need to know what your financial habits are, including the details of your credits and debts, because from there you will start creating a joint financial life. As Ossa says, “it is vital that you have a sincere relationship about how you plan to share the expenses of life and home, entertainment, savings for the future, vacations, gifts, services, etc …”.
2. Discover new incompatibilities
You might think that you already know everything there is to know about your partner, but once you live together, you will realize that there are many things that you were not aware of, including some behaviors that have not yet arisen, be they money differences, management or cleaning habits, and even future plans.
“This can be something good or bad, depending on the nature of the individuals, their dynamics as a duo and their desire to share a life without running away at the first sign of problems,” says the psychologist.
3. Their individual lifestyles could change
When you have your own personal space, you have plenty of freedom to do what you want, you can stay up late, leave your dirty clothes on the floor or watch as much television as you want. But once you live with your partner, both will have to make some minor adjustments in lifestyle.
“For the transition to the move to be smooth, there must be some discussions in advance about any specific preferences and lifestyle habits,” says J. Hope Suis, a relationship writer on her blog, divorcedmoms.com.
Are you someone who gets up early? Or is it a nocturnal owl? What about the cleaning? … Who is going to have control of television? It’s possible that these things do not seem very important at first, but having your lifestyle upside down and suddenly having to share your space is not as glamorous as it may seem. ”
4. There will be stressful moments
It is normal for your partner to feel irritated from time to time, but when they live together, there are many more opportunities for those small moments of discomfort, and you will quickly learn what bothers your partner.
“They’ll get on each other’s nerves when they move together,” says Hope. “You will quickly learn what bothers you about your partner, from leaving the cups where it is not until you remove the yuccas from your hands.” The annoying habits of your partner will become clearer once you start living together , so you should be prepared. ”
5. They will have to agree on the guests
Relationships have to do with commitment, and one of those is to agree how, when and how often to invite people to the house. Both will have the right to invite friends or guests, but always announce to them