Happiness, that precious good that every couple longs to achieve in their relationship, is not just a spiritual state reserved for a few. Know how to reach it without great philosophical theories, detaching from the ego and using its logic.
Happiness, for some couples is attainable and for others, almost a utopia, it is a spiritual state reason for analysis for great thinkers, philosophers, theologians and religious. Various theories throughout the history of man have turned it into a precious asset reserved only for a few chosen ones. However, in the light of the 21st century we can affirm, without fear of making mistakes, that being happy is a personal decision whose secret lies in taking distance from the ego and making use of the simplest logic. Just as they did when they voluntarily decided to go for that engagement ring, dream about that marriage in the field. This March 20, International Day of Happiness we propose a reflection for those in love who want a very happy relationship. Pause those marriage parties to discover what these 10 secrets are that will take them to her. Ready?
1. Happiness is personal: you can not leave it in the hands of your partner, or anyone
Although many couples may disagree, it is good to clarify now that happiness is a personal and intimate spiritual state. It is a precious commodity that can not and should not depend on what your boyfriend or girlfriend stops doing. If you are beginning your relationship with that biased idea, you may have difficulties throughout your life to reach it.
2. Being happy is something that they have to decide and not leave it to chance
Since the concept of neuro-linguistic programming or NLP appeared in the 90s, the argument that happiness was an ephemeral state reserved for a privileged few was questioned. Today we can affirm that to be happy is a decision that is taken in a conscious and decisive way, regardless of what the past of each one has been and can be achieved by all. Certainly, for those who have had a childhood surrounded by love, it will be easier, but it will not be impossible for anyone in this world, if it so decides. There are several authors who have already written about it, it is worthwhile to take a look at the publications of Louise Hay or Anthony Robbins, as a couple.
3. The material is necessary, but it will not make them happy
We live in a consumer society in which shopping and shopping, closing doors, cyber days or black fridays often fill many spiritual voids that take us away from true happiness. Do not fall into that trap or leave it if you have already done so. Every object or material good is external and to be happy is an intimate confrontation. Once reached by an individual, boyfriend or girlfriend, it can only be shared as a couple.
4. Cultivate your happiness: it is the sum of good moments
“Happiness is made of small and good moments” dictates the phrase so they should be cultivated daily. An affectionate look, walk hand in hand, listen and understand the needs of the other and learn to smile at life. Create your own happy moments and do not expect them to fall from the sky or that it is the other (your boyfriend / girlfriend) who takes the initiative first. A detail, a letter, a bouquet of natural flowers, a dinner by candlelight, a message full of love costs nothing and its impact is recorded forever.
5. Problems are made to be solved, not to separate them from their happiness
Before the first, second or third difficulty of a couple do not run away because problems are challenges that life puts in their way to test their ability to respond. In no way blame your partner, it is evasion and the only thing that is achieved is to erode the relationship. Take care of your love as if it were the precious stone of your engagement ring in gold.
6. Avoid falling into suppositions: bet on communication always
That couple has not fallen, without intending it, into the trap of assumptions. What if he did not answer me the first time, why he left me “in sight”, why he delays getting home, who is this new friend, and many others that are sure to be familiar. Falling into unfounded suspicions, presumptions, without feet or head, will take you away from the happiness you seek in your relationship. Replace that absurd game of hypotheses and bet on assertive communication. The one that develops with great respect and that allows feedback. Forget about “asking for explanations” because the only thing they will achieve is to dynamite their love.
7. The ego is the enemy of happiness: avoid being imposed among you
The ego has been responsible for all the wars in the world and has charged a high price in return, the lives of hundreds of thousands of people, therefore, it is blind. Do not let it get in your relationship. The practice of egocentricity does not let them see beyond their own convenience and closes the doors to the happiness of a couple. Do not forget, that since they decided to exchange wedding rings through that beautiful vintage wedding decoration ceremony, they are practically one.
8. Take distance from negative people: as much as possible
Maintaining a happy relationship is a daily task and responsibility of both. For no reason allow negative thoughts to take hold of you, whether they come from within you or from your most intimate social and family circles. Many times it is better to take distance from them than to enter the frenzy of gossip, gossip or bad vibes.
9. Never stop dreaming: the secret of happy couples
In no way leave your precious happiness in the hands of fate or chance but put in action and commit to it from today. The projects of life in couple will make them escape from the routine, focusing on a common goal. There will be no room for misunderstandings and assumptions that undermine their joy, or for negative thoughts, on the contrary, that dream will give them the necessary energy before their own existential downturns, facing the future.
10. Friendship, commitment and passion: the three pillars
The experts in relationships say that you can only have a healthy and happy relationship as long as they maintain the balance between friendship, commitment and passion. If after an analysis they detect that their relationship suffers from one of them, it is better to get to work on the subject.
11. That empathy is your shield: learn to put yourself on the other’s feet
There is no better way to understand the rest than by practicing empathy with vehemence. That means that in any situation that may arise, you should analyze what you would have done in that scenario. That will allow them to open the doors wide to understanding.
12. Be true to your essence: respect the space of the other
In order to achieve happiness as a couple, they do not need self-annulment. On the contrary, enrich their relationship by taking respectable distance to develop as people in the fields that are of interest. In this way, they will maintain the curiosity and admiration that can never be lost.
13. Perfection does not exist: love for the mere fact of existing
Enter your relationship with mature mind, the novels and some romantic series have rudely us, creating non-existent fantasies about real life relationships. As long as they do not alter your integrity, learn to accept the other with its defects and virtues. Of course, that does not mean that you tolerate any type of abuse or psychological or physical abuse.
14. Give up attachment: it will bring you suffering for life
One of the main problems in couple relationships is attachment. Believing that the other person belongs to me or is obligated to love me will only cause the other person to suffocate. The decision to share life with someone is a voluntary act.
15. Live each day as if it were the last
One of the great secrets of happiness as a couple is to live each day as if it were the last. Imagine what they would do if they knew it would be like that. Would they waste it discussing? Or, on the contrary, would you try to fill it with beautiful moments?