You complicate your life so many times that you could not even list them right now. Something that should be as simple as loving a person and letting everything flow, you become a challenge at all levels, full of arguments, jealousies, jealousies and toxicities. And you do it unconsciously in most cases, without realizing that your pure stubbornness and little reason will end up hurting you. The time has come for you to forget a little or a lot of the ideal love that Disney sold you and set up your own fairy tale, make us a little more case and turn the happy ending into an eternal journey. Okay, yes, this all sounds wonderful but, where do we start? Cristina Callao, sexologist and couple therapist, has given us 23 tips to improve relationships.
Look for hobbies to share together beyond day to day, routine and obligations.
It is important that you have quality free time outside the couple is very positive at the individual level and, therefore, for your relationship.
Do not pretend or want to change your partner. If you want someone is with all their kit; good and not so good. And that is the key to a relationship, respect for particularities.
Dedicate quality moments every day. Even if time sharing is small, it must be real and positive.
Communicate in an assertive manner, that is, expressing the point of view in a clear way and in a totally respectful way.
When we communicate, even in discussions, we must do it in an empathic way, that is, listening carefully and without prejudice. Using the “I believe that …” instead of the “is that you have done …”.
Your house is your refuge. That means that if you had a bad day, you do not have to pay for frustrations at home. You have to learn to manage emotions and, above all, not seek a new conflict within your common space, if there is not.
Manage obligations fairly and fairly so as not to fall into preventable discussions and achieve balance and harmony in the home.
If you both work and go home late, it is a good idea to prepare a weekly menu together over the weekend, to know what to cook each night. That will give you order and, therefore, avoid arguments.
It is necessary that you share intimate moments; caresses, kisses, hugs, in short, erotic relationships within the couple frequently.
Living together does not mean doing everything together, or being together. You have to respect the personal space. These pleasant moments fill us with energy and make us feel more complete.
Living together implies sharing, that is why it is necessary that both of you agree and build your own rules of coexistence.
You may sometimes assume that your partner should know what you think, and that is a mistake. The evidence can be subjective, and it is best to express what you think without taking it for granted.
Go to bed at the same time. It can be a good moment of intimate chat or to start a sexual relationship and is to end the day together.
Express love and affection frequently, as well as with words and gestures: hugging, shaking hands on the street, walking together, etc. It is important. Often one of the two may not feel loved enough but does not dare to say it.
Feed the couple with small details, maybe those same ones that you had when you were dating and that you have forgotten without wanting to. A text message, a call, leave a note, a breakfast in bed, etc.
Communicate sexually, that is, express tastes and preferences without fear that the other judge you. The tastes can be changing and what you liked at the beginning may have changed and that is not why you love yourself less.
If you have children, it is necessary that from time to time you go out to dinner together, without children. To reconnect and pay attention only to yours.
Avoid spying on your partner, reading messages on your mobile or picking up your mobile phone without your permission. If something bothers you or you think it is not going well, express it and talk with your partner before breaking into their privacy and sow jealousy and distrust. Remember: the simplest explanation is almost always the most likely. You just have to ask.
Find your ideal relationship. Although the most common is monogamy, it does not mean that it is effective for you. Inquire on all the possibilities and current options (swinging, not monogamy, polyamory, etc).
You will not play. Situations are not as dramatic or as horrible as we often raise them.
Sincerity is very important and you must tell yourself everything that feels bad to you or you think you can change. If you accumulate it and let the little things go by, maybe one day it will explode in your face.
Applying these guidelines, we will obtain a healthy relationship, without toxicity or insecurity; forging a stable and solid base. Now, everything else depends on you.