“The Tinder Scammer”: 5 Traps Romantic Tricksters Use (And How to Avoid Falling Into Them)

What does the Netflix documentary “The Tinder Scammer” teach us about romance fraud? We tell you what you should be aware of so as not to become a victim

In the hit Netflix documentary “The Tinder Swindler” ( The Tinder Swindler ), three women describe how they were scammed by convicted scammer Simon Leviev (born Shimon Hayut) after meeting him on the dating app.

The film offers a detailed and deeply personal account of how Leviev used Tinder to connect with his victims and ultimately swindle them out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I have been investigating romance fraud for over a decade. I have heard the painful and traumatic stories of hundreds of victims.

While each story is unique, there are common factors and some general lessons we can learn.

The documentary is a powerful example of what can go wrong, but what does it teach us about romance fraud ? And how can you avoid becoming the next victim?

What is romance fraud?
Romance scammers use a personal relationship to exploit their victims’ trust and gain a financial advantage ; or sometimes, as ASIO (the Australian security and intelligence agency) warned, to access private or classified information.

It usually happens online through a dating website or app , or a social media platform .

Simon Leviev was convicted of swindling women.

In many cases, the victim and the aggressor never get to know each other. However, as “The Tinder Scammer” shows , it can also happen in face-to-face relationships.

Romance scammers use a variety of elaborate grooming techniques, social engineering practices, and psychological abuse tactics to gain consent from their victims.

Leviev successfully manipulated several women by posing as the son of a diamond tycoon, before claiming his family was being violently threatened and asking his victims to take out loans on his behalf to help deal with an alleged security emergency. .

Each of his actions was deliberate and purposeful, and reflected in more widely known patterns. Here are some typical tactics , all of which were used by Leviev:

Create an attractive profile and identity that exudes power, wealth and status.
Making grand displays of love , including quickly considering the relationship as a couple and discussing a possible future together.
Making up an “emergency” that urgently requires financial assistance ; It could be a business situation, a medical issue, or a criminal justice issue, such as claiming you were arrested abroad.
Increase these financial demands over time, typically asking victims to transfer money , register credit cards, or apply for bank loans.
Threatening, abusing, or otherwise coercing the victim if they refuse.
Why do victims send money?
Watching from the safety of your living room couch, it’s easy to say, “I wouldn’t do that.” But we should not underestimate the ability of a skilled criminal to identify a weakness or vulnerability and ruthlessly exploit it

One tactic used is to talk about the relationship soon in terms of a couple and to promise a future together.

Using surveys with victims and non-victims, the research has revealed a handful of traits associated with being a victim of romance fraud.

Crucially, people with higher levels of romantic beliefs , or who believe in the idea of “true love” , are more likely to become victims.

Several victims I spoke with were able to identify a particular reason that prompted their initial decision to commit to a criminal.

It may have been the loss of a previous relationship or a change in life circumstances (such as retirement or children leaving home).

In many cases, the split-second decision to swipe right on a profile or reply to a friendly message changed their lives forever.

Someone’s level of vulnerability to fraud is not static; it can change monthly, weekly or even daily.

Many victims would not have been fooled if they had seen the message at a different time. Criminals target hundreds of victims hoping for a single hit.

My research also found that many offenders use psychological abuse techniques similar to those commonly found in domestic violence .

Some of the tactics used by these types of scammers are similar to those used in cases of domestic violence.

Criminals, having earned the trust of their victims, often create realistic-looking contracts, bank statements, or official letters to justify their requests for money.

They will usually describe these requests as urgent and secret, as in the case of Leviev’s “security emergency,” who claimed to be trying to negotiate trade deals while in hiding.

This tactic reduces the victim’s ability to respond rationally or seek outside advice.

How can I prevent it from happening to me?
Internet dating is complicated enough without financial fraud coming into play . It’s hard to know that someone on a dating app is really who they say they are.