Why having an unhappy partner is harmful to health (and what to do)

Why having an unhappy partner is harmful to health
Why having an unhappy partner is harmful to health

The influence exerted by the people around us is invisible, but its effects end up being very clear in the long term. Like it or not, our immediate environment conditions us. When we are together with a positive and happy person, we become infected with their emotions and we feel good with them; This is due to the so-called mirror neurons , which allow us to empathize and imitate emotions of others that capture our attention. The problem is that these neurons work the same in the case of a bad-tempered or sad individual, in a way that infects their pessimism and discomfort , affecting even our health .

Toxic relationships do not only occur in the couple.

It is not difficult to meet problematic people, such as disqualifying bosses or complaining neighbors

It happens more often than we think. It is common to attribute headaches, anxiety, depression or sleep disorders to stress to the hectic pace of life, but in many cases “the origin of these and other ailments is in the people around us, toxic individuals that can be from the couple or a friend to a coworker or a neighbor, “explains Dr. Marisa Navarro , author of the book ‘ Emotional medicine ‘.

The mood of your spouse influences your well-being, for better or for worse
A new research, ‘ Happy you, healthy me?’ , published in the journal ‘Health Psychology’ and echoed ‘The Daily Mail’, addresses precisely this issue and tries to prove that the attitude of one person can affect the welfare of another

Over the past decade several publications have suggested that happiness can improve one’s health, but the authors of this new study, Professors William Chopik , of Michigan State University, and Ed O’Brien , of the University of Chicago, wanted to go further and explore the effects of interpersonal relationships on the well-being of other individuals and, for this, they made a thorough follow-up to nearly 2,000 couples for six years . The conclusion has been that having a happy partner increases the chances of maintaining good health; On the other hand, a spoiled, sad or ill-tempered spouse could make the other person feel bad.

Having a cranky, sad, or un-empathetic spouse can make the other person in the couple misbehave, according to a new study

Men and women between the ages of 50 and 94 were asked about the satisfaction they had with their lives, as well as whether they suffered from diabetes or any other chronic illness or what difficulty they had in performing day-to-day tasks. “Participants with happy couples had better health, had less physical deterioration and exercised more frequently than those who had dissatisfied partners,” explains Dr. Chopik, who adds that there are at least three possible reasons for having a happy partner. It could improve health , regardless of one’s own happiness.

First of all, stable and happy people tend to be emotional support for their partners, compared to discontented spouses who are more likely to be focused on their own stressors. Second, because they are able to motivate others to participate in activities and environments that promote healthy living , such as maintaining regular sleep cycles , eating nutritious foods, and exercising. And third and last, Chopik adds, “simply knowing that the couple is satisfied with their individual circumstances can temper the need for others to seek self-destructive outlets such as drinking or drugs.”

 

Energy Vampires at Work

Toxic relationships do not only occur in the couple. Throughout life it is difficult not to meet problematic people, such as disqualifying bosses, complaining neighbors , cranky co-workers, individuals who produce discomfort and may even end up ruining the life of an individual by destroying their dreams or driving them away from their goals.

Stable people are an emotional support for their partners, as opposed to the dissatisfied, who focus on their own stressors

In most cases, experts claim that they are subjects with low self-esteem who need the approval of others, Stamateas baptize them as “seekers and recognition”. Sometimes, “when they see that it is very difficult to do a job, for fear of not doing well and being portrayed, they look for a way for someone to do it and claim merit,” the psychologist clarifies.

Several patients have gone through the consultation of Navarro under pressure from peers or toxic leaders and the recommendation is always the same. ” Mark distances, have a strictly labor relationship and, whenever possible, avoid having contact with them.” The most important thing, he adds, is “not being influenced by them and not giving rise to their demands. If they ask you for a task that is not your competence, in an assertive way you have to tell them that you can not do it. “

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